sekejap je masa berlalu..sudah hari ke 11 rupanya berpuasa... dibulan puasa nih, bella kadang berbuka seorang diri...kadang bersama teman-teman...apabila berbuka seorang diri, terdetik dihati.... alangkah indahnya kalau ada suami...ada anak-anak.... terutama apabila hujung minggu... syahdu sangat
di hari jadi bella, didi antara orang pertama mesej bella...walau bella hanya baca masa bersahur segala ucapan2 .... didi mohon maaf dr hujung rambut sampai hujung kaki..termenung bella seketika membaca ucapan tersebut...
di,
bel minta maaf... bel tak mampu nak maafkan di buat masa sekrang...luka di hati sgt dalam di...terlalu dalam.. susah untuk sembuh kembali luka ini... seperti mana bel tak mampu nak maafkan semua yang terlibat dlm runtuhnya rumahtangga yang bel pertahankan selama 5tahun nih... secebis pun bel tak mampu nak maafkan semua orang...
ye, bella tahu... mungkin bella kejam... sedangkan memberi maaf kepada orang lain adalah perkara yg mulia..di tambah bulan puasa yang penuh barakah ini.... susah korang...susah... yang pernah mengalami atau sedang mengalami mungkin faham... peritnya semua ini....
maafkan bella...memang buat masa sekrang, bella tidak mampu nak memberi kata maaf pada didi..dan semua yang terlibat.... betapa hancurnya hati dan perasaan bella ... tak mungkin sekelip mata bella lupakan semua nih... berilah bella masa,....
owh..bella dah selamat menjalani sesi temuduga untuk menyambung pelajaran... semoga ada rezeki... insyaAllah...
bukan senang nak senang,
bukan susah mahu susah.....
Thursday, 16 June 2016
to those who broke my heart
Assalamualaikum....Hi,
Thank you for the tears, i spent almost all of my nights
drowning myself to tears.
All of those tears I've shed taught me
that it's okay to cry, that it's okay not be "okay".
Thank you for not giving me answers, at the time i was more confused
than ever that why do things need to have an ending.
And for some reason you can't spill out any acceptable reason why.
i learned that some things are better left unsaid.
Although i didn't understand why it was over between us.
but you know what? It saved me from enduring more pain.
it saved me from questioning more than i already had to question.
Also, I learned that things just don't happen if there's no reason.
You also taught me that feelings an people can change faster
than the blink of an eye,
just like many other things in life.
You taught me to be prepared for anything, to not completely give my heart
to someone, that I need to spare something for myself too.
Most importantly, you taught me that it's possible to care for someone
no matter how much they may have hurt you. because no matter how much i hated you,
you're still the person I loved first, but not the person i fell in love with anymore.
You taught me that time is never wasted if you spend it with someone you love.
I thought that i'd be hurting forever, but I learned
that eventually i'd be okay, that eventually my heart would heal.
And lastly I want to thank you for breaking my heart, because if you haven't?
I will never be the person I am today.
And thank you, for leaving me, because I found my self when I lost you.
Words by: Bojie Galamay
Thank you for the tears, i spent almost all of my nights
drowning myself to tears.
All of those tears I've shed taught me
that it's okay to cry, that it's okay not be "okay".
Thank you for not giving me answers, at the time i was more confused
than ever that why do things need to have an ending.
And for some reason you can't spill out any acceptable reason why.
i learned that some things are better left unsaid.
Although i didn't understand why it was over between us.
but you know what? It saved me from enduring more pain.
it saved me from questioning more than i already had to question.
Also, I learned that things just don't happen if there's no reason.
You also taught me that feelings an people can change faster
than the blink of an eye,
just like many other things in life.
You taught me to be prepared for anything, to not completely give my heart
to someone, that I need to spare something for myself too.
Most importantly, you taught me that it's possible to care for someone
no matter how much they may have hurt you. because no matter how much i hated you,
you're still the person I loved first, but not the person i fell in love with anymore.
You taught me that time is never wasted if you spend it with someone you love.
I thought that i'd be hurting forever, but I learned
that eventually i'd be okay, that eventually my heart would heal.
And lastly I want to thank you for breaking my heart, because if you haven't?
I will never be the person I am today.
And thank you, for leaving me, because I found my self when I lost you.
Words by: Bojie Galamay
Monday, 6 June 2016
Salam Ramadhan
ahlan wa sahlan ya ramadhan....
bulan yang di nanti...bulan yang penuh barakah....
alhamdulillah, masih di panjangkan usia untuk menikmati barakah bulan ramadhan.... walaupun sekrang bella belom 100% bebas... tapi alhamdulillah... terasa sedikit lega..bebanan rasa nya sudah berkurangan... bella sendiri baru balik drpd bercuti.... menenangkan fikiran...even handphone yg digunakan untuk kerja-kerja pejabat pun bella tinggal di bilik hotel.... heheheh..
walaupun begitu, bella masih berhubung baik dengan ipar duai... bagi bella, yang buat salah adalah didi..bukan mereka... andai selepas semua selesai, mereka tidak sudi berkawan dengan bella..bella redha.... didi sendiri selepas last mesej yang bella hantar untuk berjumpa... 9.5.... tidak menghubungi bella.... mungkin dia pun dah rasa happy dengan kebebasan yang dia idam-idamkan... bagusla.... moga kekal bahagia dan sihat hingga akhir hayat...
untuk ramadhan kali ini, walau sendirian... alhamdulillah..bukan kali pertama bella sendirian..dh hampir 3tahun sendirian dan berbuka bersama teman2.... cuma, kali ini perasaan sedikit berbeza... takpe lah.... takdir Allah
untuk hari raya, bella sendiri belum tahu apa akan berlaku... kita sama-sama tunggu dan lihat ....
rabu. bella ada temuduga untuk sambung pengajian..alhamdulillah, orang kata..sebelah kaki dah melangkah..semoga berjaya...doakan bella ye dpt menyambung phd.... Allahu rabbi... Allahu yassir wala tuassir....
ps: jun adalah bulan kelahiran bella... bertabah usia setahun lagi...heheheh
bulan yang di nanti...bulan yang penuh barakah....
alhamdulillah, masih di panjangkan usia untuk menikmati barakah bulan ramadhan.... walaupun sekrang bella belom 100% bebas... tapi alhamdulillah... terasa sedikit lega..bebanan rasa nya sudah berkurangan... bella sendiri baru balik drpd bercuti.... menenangkan fikiran...even handphone yg digunakan untuk kerja-kerja pejabat pun bella tinggal di bilik hotel.... heheheh..
walaupun begitu, bella masih berhubung baik dengan ipar duai... bagi bella, yang buat salah adalah didi..bukan mereka... andai selepas semua selesai, mereka tidak sudi berkawan dengan bella..bella redha.... didi sendiri selepas last mesej yang bella hantar untuk berjumpa... 9.5.... tidak menghubungi bella.... mungkin dia pun dah rasa happy dengan kebebasan yang dia idam-idamkan... bagusla.... moga kekal bahagia dan sihat hingga akhir hayat...
untuk ramadhan kali ini, walau sendirian... alhamdulillah..bukan kali pertama bella sendirian..dh hampir 3tahun sendirian dan berbuka bersama teman2.... cuma, kali ini perasaan sedikit berbeza... takpe lah.... takdir Allah
untuk hari raya, bella sendiri belum tahu apa akan berlaku... kita sama-sama tunggu dan lihat ....
rabu. bella ada temuduga untuk sambung pengajian..alhamdulillah, orang kata..sebelah kaki dah melangkah..semoga berjaya...doakan bella ye dpt menyambung phd.... Allahu rabbi... Allahu yassir wala tuassir....
ps: jun adalah bulan kelahiran bella... bertabah usia setahun lagi...heheheh
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